Trials and Ovulation

Today was the big day of my retest to find out why exactly my cells were atypical and of an undetermined insignificance. Although I was plenty wiped from some raucous bowling at 10pin last night, I was eager to bring this nerve racking little chapter of my life to a close... and even smiled as the alarm started its clarion whine this morning.

As I exited the train and started to walk towards the clinic, I blinked upon seeing a large crowd of people gathered outside...."Wow, guess everyone ran out of Yasmin at once!" I thought, rather amused. To my revulsion, upon pulling closer to the throng, they were revealed to be a creepy little semi-circle of protesters complete with leatherette bible.

Having never been to a medical facility that would draw a crowd, this was a bit of a shock and suddenly I could feel adrenaline start to pump through my system. Fear was the first emotion to strike, "What if they throw something?" or "What if they start shouting at me? I don't think I can really deal with being called a sinner for getting a confirming Pap Smear." Since it was early, I decided to loop the block until closer to my appointment at 11:15. At 11:10, I cruised back around the block to come once again upon the religious zealots...now they were holding hands and praying. But,in addition, there were now two very burly bouncers in yellow "Planned Parenthood" vests guarding the door. I cut a wide swath around the circle, presented my ID to the guards and entered.

This really REALLY flippin' pissed me off. While I respect the right of any group to object and demonstrate, the small-minded pointlessness of their actions is infuriating. On my hike around the neighborhood to gather my courage to pass the group and enter the clinic, I passed a church with a line of homeless people forming for a hot meal; how ridiculous that these demonstrating "Christians" instead of doing something useful for humanity ie: passing out the proverbial fish and loaves down the block chose instead to harass and intimidate women that were not only there for abortions and birth control, which is what I presume incited their wrath, but to be counseled for rape, tested for disease and educated about their bodies.

I almost wanted them to tell me I was going to hell, just so I could shout back "I might have cancer, these people are providing me with an affordable test that if it's positive, will save my life!....What? Jesus doesn't want me for a sunbeam if I have cervical cancer? Go to hell yourself!"

But alas, I am no closer to a diagnostic reprieve despite the rocky path to the waiting room. Once my name was called, it was discovered that the intake clerk had scheduled me too early; my cells hadn't gone through a whole cycle of regeneration and wouldn't be ready to look at until April. So, back to the purgatory of waiting I go!