To: All the Men I've Loved Before

Maybe it's just the cold medicine or my swollen sinuses compressing against the soft part of my brain, but I'm feeling a tad nostalgic this morning. Quite likely, it also involves the recent sweet, although misplaced affections of a crush that seems rather oblivious to the fact that I'm rather smitten with a super-happy-fantastic boyfriend.

This brought on a wave of reminiscing over my past crushes, dates, and boyfriends throughout these 30 some years. Despite all ending in heartbreak, many of these delightful gentlemen appear to have left me with something valuable nonetheless. So, with that, here's 10 of my favorite "lessons":

1. BT- A fine selection of dirty German phrases. How to neutralize the 'cheese shredder' capacity of my braces.

2. JB- How to play poker. Several choice dirty Russian phrases.

3. JP- Both the joy and knowledge of being able to replace a transmission on a '69 Thunderbird. Random car knowledge that always keeps me a torque wrench ahead of my mechanic.

4. DA- A truckload of dirty foreign phrases in a rainbow of languages. Too many 'discovered' bands and movies to mention. The Art of Compromise. How to Survive a Heartbreak. Maintaining a Platonic Friendship. (why are the last 3 a Dr. Phil whisker away from being self-help titles?!)

5. JH- A passionate love for the movie "Man of La Mancha". The realization that smothering affection is almost worse than apathy.

6. MM- The balls to stand up for my principles in the face of adversity, even if it meant walking away. The introduction of a 10-step background check for all potential suitors.

7. NK- The spiffy music of Steve Burns. The wacky writings of David Eggers and Chuck Palahniuk. Sushi. How to walk away with class. The introduction of carding my potential beaus.

8. JK- Adult Swim. The yummy Mexican restaurant "El Tapatio". The realization that I'm much too old for flings.

9. KF- The music of Mary Lou Lord. The art of political commentary.

10. NV- Rediscovering my passion for writing. neo. How to embrace my inner child in a gigantic bear hug.

Wow, that was the equivalent of 10 therapy sessions in 15minutes! The urge to go lie on the couch and not even ponder the upcoming trip to my parents is overwhelming.